


like seriously

by miss-minnelli (sherlollyshipperalltheway)



Category: Lovely Little Losers, Nothing Much to Do
Genre: AU, Angst, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 05:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6226189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlollyshipperalltheway/pseuds/miss-minnelli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m going to bring Peter home for the winter holiday and he is going to pretend to be Fred because I kinda don’t want to tell my parents I dumped him. It’s very simple, actually.” Balth smirked at the look on Ben’s face. It was a mix between surprise and a dread. </p><p>...</p><p>An AU where Balth and Peter meet for the first time at university. Balth has recently broken off his engagement with Fred Boyet, but hasn't told his parents, so naturally, Peter volunteers to be Balth's stand in fiancé over the winter holidays.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "I Could Be Fred"

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this au prompt by tumblr user @aangisdead: "You broke off your engagement with your long-time boyfriend/girlfriend who you were supposed to bring home to meet your family so now you need me to pretend to be them" 
> 
> Or in other words, it's just a way for me to write angst.

Peter yawned a bit as he climbed the steps (there were far too many) up to his flat. When he opened the door he was greeted by Balthazar staring open-mouthed at his phone screen. Balthazar was one of Peter’s three flatmates. The other two were Ben, Peter’s friend from high school, and Freddie, a sophomore, whom Ben had met over the summer. 

Peter had not known Balthazar for very long, as he was Freddie’s childhood friend, but he felt like they had formed a pretty tight bond in the few months they had lived together. Of course, it wasn’t too tight of a bond, because Balthazar had had a fiancé called Fred since they had arrived at uni—until they broke up two weeks ago.

Balthazar looked up from his phone screen and Peter thought he might start crying. It hadn’t been that long after the breakup after all, although Balth had been the one who ended it. But instead of crying, Balth burst out laughing. Now it was Peter who was staring in awe. 

“Um, what the hell is going on, Balth?” 

Balth just shook his head and fell backwards so he was sprawled out on the couch. Peter set down his books on the coffee table and then walked over to the couch. He shoved Balth’s feet to the floor so there was room for him on the couch too. Finally, Balth was able to stop laughing and catch his breath.

“Peter, I just did the stupidest thing. I can’t believe what I just did. Like I seriously can’t believe it. Oh my god.” 

Peter mentally scolded himself for hoping that the stupid thing Balth had just done didn’t include getting back together with Fred. “Well if it’s so funny, then let me in on it, Balthy!” 

“Okay, so you know how I just broke it off with Fred? Right, well, early this term I promised my parents that I would be bringing him home with me for winter break. I obviously can’t do that now, and I don’t want to—hence why I broke up with him. But, uh, I have a bit of a hard time saying ‘no’ to my parents, and they just called to tell me how excited they were about meeting my fiancé next week. I might have accidentally failed to mention that we broke up…They were so excited and I didn’t want to disappoint them. So now when I go home, they’re going to be expecting to meet Fred, and it’s going to just be me.” 

Peter noticed that Balth didn’t seem to find the story very amusing once he finished telling it. “Oh,” was all Peter could manage in return. 

“Yeah, I guess it wasn’t that funny after all. I don’t know why I was laughing so much. Maybe just from the shock of it. Breaking off an engagement with someone is more work than I thought. Oh, that sounded so mean. I just meant that there are so many people you have to tell, because all of the people have been assuming that you would be married soo—”

“I could be Fred.” _What?_

“What?” Balth voiced Peter’s own confusion.

Peter tried to backpedal. “No, I um…I, never mind.”

“No, say it,” insisted Balth, suddenly staring intensely at Peter.

Peter looked back at Balthazar and for a moment he was mesmerized by the bright blue eyes that were focused right on him. Then it just slipped out. “I was just thinking that if you need someone to take home with you for the winter holiday, uh, I would be free.”

Balth seemed to space out for a second, and Peter was about to apologize and run from the room when Balth said, “Oh my god, Peter! That could actually work. My family has never met Fred, and the pictures they’ve seen have only been vague group shots, cause we didn’t post our relationship on social media very much. Basically, all they know about him is that his name is Fred, he owns a coffee shop and is taller than me.” Balth stopped abruptly when he realized that Peter was trying to stifle a laugh. “Wait. You were kidding, weren’t you. Oh holy shit, you were joking. Kill me now. Please actually kill me right now.”

Peter gave up on trying to hold in the laughter. When he got control of himself again, he shook his head vigorously. “No, I wasn’t kidding. You were just so excited and you looked so—” _cute. No! You can’t call him cute! “—_ enthusiastic. That’s all,” he covered. 

“So you are serious?” Peter nodded. Balthazar looked a little worried for a moment before continuing. “We’d probably have to kiss and hold hands, cause we’re supposed to be engaged. Would that be too weird for you?”

_Weird? Are you serious? I have been wanting to kiss you and hold your hand for forever, so why would it be weird?_ “Nah, I think I could handle of bit of PDA.” 

Balthazar smiled and Peter tried to ignore the butterflies he was feeling. “Okay, cool. Hey man, thank you so much for doing this. I will totally tell my parents that I’m not engaged anymore soon, but I really can’t handle them knowing about it when I’m home this holiday, and it will be so much easier to tell them next term.” 

They stayed on the couch for about twenty more minutes discussing logistics and schedules, until Ben walked in the front door. 

“Hello, good people of the flat. How are you two this lovely day?” Ben greeted.

Balthazar grinned, eager to mess with Ben for a moment. “We’re engaged!”

Ben’s eyebrows shot up into his messy hair and Peter felt like he was having a heart attack. He hadn’t realized how much those words would affect him, however untrue they were. He needed to get that under control for the winter holidays. 

Peter returned to reality and realized Ben had said something and was waiting for a response. “What?”

Ben rolled his eyes. “What are you two on about? I didn’t even know you were dating! But I would like to take credit for this because of all the work I have put into thi—” Peter could feel his heart racing. _Shit. I never should have mentioned my stupid crush to Ben in the first place._ He needed Ben to stop talking but he didn’t know what to say. Thankfully, Balthazar jumped in.

“It’s just a joke, Ben,” explained Balthazar. “Well, kind of. I guess you could say we’re fake engaged.” Ben still looked confused. “I’m going to bring Peter home for the winter holiday and he is going to pretend to be Fred because I kinda don’t want to tell my parents I dumped him. It’s very simple, actually.” He smirked at the look on Ben’s face. It was a mix between surprise and a dread. 

“Oh, that’s cool. Very cool. Hey Peter, I want to make dinner tonight, but I need help with groceries. Could you give me a hand at the shop?” Ben raised his eyebrows, trying to communicate something that Peter was definitely ignoring. 

He nodded his agreement anyway though, because no matter how much he didn’t want Ben to give him a lecture, he really did need to talk to someone about this. “Alright, it looks like I’m off to the store. See you later, fiancé.” He help up his hand for a high-five and Balth returned it, smiling widely.

“See you. And thanks again.” 


	2. Practicing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Practice makes perfect.

Ben and Peter walked in silence down the steps in front of their flat. Peter was still processing what he had just agreed to, and Ben kept opening and closing his mouth as if he was trying to say something, but couldn’t figure out how to put it. 

Peter quickly got tired of hearing Ben’s jaw click as he opened and closed it, so he jabbed him with his elbow. “Just spit it out. I know you have something to say about this.”

Ben flailed his arms around for a moment, but finally said, “Peter! What on earth do you think you’re doing? This is the worst idea anyone has ever had in human history!”

_Well actually, I think not bringing enough lifeboats on the Titanic was the worst mistake in human history._ “What are you talking about Ben? It’s fine.”

“Hello! I’m talking about how you are in LOVE with Balthazar and you just agreed to pretend to be his fiancé!” Ben exclaimed. 

“Actually, I suggested it,” Peter corrected. It was hard for him not to start an argument with Ben. This time, though, it seemed like a better idea to get to the point. “But really, it’s fine. And I’m not in love with him. Yeah, I used to have a tiny crush, but now that’s totally gone,” _except that it isn’t and I think it’s way bigger than before_ “so it’s just me helping out a friend.”

Ben smirked. “Sure, if that’s what you’re telling yourself.” He paused to shake his head. “All I know is this is something only a lovesick idiot would do to help out a ‘friend.’ I mean, I like Balthazar, but I wouldn’t go to _such extremes_ to save him from the embarrassment of telling his family that he broke up with his fiancé!”

“Well, that’s because you’re dating Beatrice.”

“Yes, it’s partly because I am in a committed relationship with the girl I love, but also because I’M NOT IN LOVE WITH BALTHAZAR!” 

“Will you stop shouting please?” Peter said through his teeth. “And I never said I was in love with him. Just…”

Ben pointed at Peter. “Aha! So you admit you do like him!”

“Uughhh! Ben, I did not say that. Can we move on please?”

“Alright,” he said, hands up in defense, “but if this blows up in your face, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Peter sighed in defeat. Apparently, Ben was not going to let this go. “Just don’t tell him, okay?”

Ben nodded, and he must’ve heard the worry in Peter voice because he followed with, “‘Course not. Alright, what are you feeling like for dinner? 

…

After dinner (vegetarian tacos), Ben volunteered Peter to be the designated dish washer that evening. He tried to protest, but Ben insisted, since he had cooked dinner and needed to Skype Bea. Freddie had disappeared somewhere as soon as she cleared her plate, and Peter didn’t want to make Balth do the dishes, so he resigned himself to scraping plates and scrubbing silverware. 

Ben and Balth retired to their rooms to Skype or study, and Peter set to work on the dishes. He hadn’t been working for more than five minutes, when he heard Balthazar’s voice behind him. 

“Hey, Peter.” 

Peter put down the plate he was washing and turned around. He tried to lean casually against the sink, but as soon as he did, he could feel a puddle of water soaking through the back of his jeans. Balth saw this whole ordeal, but didn’t say anything; he only smirked. “What’s up, Balthy?” 

Balth pressed his lips together in an attempt to hide the smile Peter had already seen. “Oh, um, I was just thinking that since the winter holidays are next week, I should probably give you a lesson about my family, so you know who everyone is when we get there? Because I told Fred about everybody, and I feel like my family is expecting you to know their names.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea,” Peter replied. “Just give me one second while I finish up with these dishes.”

“Here, let me help,” said Balth and joined Peter at the sink. 

Peter grimaced as he realized he was now standing hip-to-hip with his crush while the seat of his pants was wet from the counter top. _Of course I am._  

“Do you want to rinse while I wash?” he asked.

“Yeah, cool.” 

They were silent for a few minutes while Peter washed a dish and Balth waited for something to rinse. Apparently, someone had microwaved some cheese and now it was quite stuck to the plate. When he had finally freed the plate from it’s cheese coating, he handed it to Balth. Their hands touched as Balth grabbed the plate, and the next thing Peter knew, the plate fell into the sink with a loud clatter and broke into two. 

“Shit, sorry about that,” said Balthazar, going a little bit red in the cheeks.

Peter shook his head. “No, man. That was totally my bad. I think I lost my grip or something.” _Definitely ‘or something.’_

Balth laughed. “Okay, let’s call it a joint effort.” He picked up the two halves of the plate and threw them in the trash. Then he put his finger to his lips. “Shhh. Don’t tell Freddie I threw the plate away without even _attempting_ to fix it. She would freak out.” 

…

“Okay Peter, who is this?” asked Balthazar, pointing at a picture of a pale woman with curly, dark brown hair.

“Ooh that’s easy: Jojo, right? She’s your eldest sister.”

“Yes!” 

They were sitting side by side on the couch with pictures of Balthazar’s surprisingly large family spread out across the coffee table. Balth had already given Peter a quick rundown of everyone’s names, and now he was testing Peter’s memory.

Peter pointed to the woman next to Jojo. “And that’s your other older sister, Rosa. She’s the one who’s been over here a few times, yeah?”

“Correct. And my parent’s names are?”

“Jillian and Terrance Jones,” Peter answered, proud of himself for remembering. “And your younger siblings are twelve years old and their names are Aurelia and…oh crap…”

“Xander,” finished Balthazar.

“Right, Xander,” Peter said tapping himself lightly on the forehead. When he brought his hand back down from his face, it landed directly on top of Balth’s hand, which was resting on the couch. Peter froze at the touch. _Shit._ Then, he realized his hand had been there for too long to causally apologize and remove it. _What am I supposed to do? He’ll think I’m trying to hold his hand! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE PLATONIC._

Balth seemed to notice that Peter had disengaged from their conversation. His eyes moved from Peter’s face down to their hands. He blushed a little, and turned his hand over in order to interlace his fingers with Peter’s.

“W-What are you doing, Balth?” Peter could feel himself starting to panic.

Balth rubbed his thumb over the back of Peter’s hand and smiled at him innocently. “Practicing.” 

Peter’s eyes widened and his heart started racing faster than it already was. “Oh um, good idea.”

He cleared his throat and looked Balth in the eye. “Do you think maybe we should practice um,” his eyes flicked to Balth’s lips, “anything else?”

Balth raised his eyebrows. “Hmmm, we both have good ideas, don’t we?” He started leaning towards Peter and Peter mimicked the movement. 

They lips were nearly touching when the front door burst open and Freddie appeared in the living room. They both jumped away from each other as fast as they could, but judging by the look of surprise on Freddie’s face, not fast enough.

“Holy Hell! Oh my god, you two were kissing. You were kissing! Wha-why?” She narrowed her eyes at Balthazar. “You said—We’ll talk about this later, mister,” she declared, and scurried off to her room. 

Balth looked down at his hands and pulled his sleeves over them. “Well, I guess I’m in trouble,” he said with a slight smile. 

Peter didn’t even notice how red Balth’s face was because he was too busy trying to figure out what to say to someone after you almost kiss them. (A few options he was considering included: _What did that mean? Do you like me? Or was that really just practicing? Can we try again?_ ) He decided the best option would be, “Um, thank for the lesson. See you later,” and then he dashed over to his room and all but slammed the door. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep letting me know if you're enjoying! 
> 
> Also I have no idea what Balth's parents or younger siblings' names are, so I just made them up. 
> 
> I'm thinking of writing the next chapter from Balth's point of view and attempting to explain Freddie's reaction to the almost kiss. ;)


	3. Stanley and Lauren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie and Balth have a few discussions and some doors are slammed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is from Balth's point of view.

Balthazar sighed, scooped up all of his family pictures, and headed for his room. He dropped the pile on his desk and flopped backwards onto his bed. He wished he could lay there and wonder what Freddie meant when she exclaimed, _“You said—We’ll talk about this later, mister,”_ but unfortunately, he knew exactly what she was referring to. 

**_A few hours earlier…_ **

_Balth heard the front door slam and Freddie shout, “I’m home, losers! Where is everybody?” He smiled. Freddie always liked to know the whereabouts of her friends. She’d been like that their whole lives, even in primary school. If he missed a day of school, she made it her mission to make sure he was safe at home._

_“In my room, Freds!” he called and his response was some loud shuffling. In a moment, Freddie appeared in his doorway with her phone in hand._

_“Are Peter and Ben here?” He shook his head. “Alright. Start talking Stanley,” she demanded. He rolled his eyes at the use of his first name._

_“Please don’t call me that, or I’m gonna call you Lauren. And what am I supposed to be talking about?”_

_Freddie shivered at the ‘Lauren’ comment, but quickly continued. “Come on, you know!”_

_When Balth looked confused, she explained. “Ben just texted me about how you are taking Peter home to meet your parents as Fred. I mean I know you’re like, in love with him, or whatever, but that’s ridiculous.”_

_“Shhhh!” Balth whispered instinctively, before remembering that they were alone in the house. “I wouldn’t call it love…” he protested lamely._

_Freddie sat down on the bed. “Okay, all ridiculousness aside, didn’t you break up with Fred because your crush on Peter was getting to big to ignore?” Balth nodded and stared at the floor. “Right, so now you have him pretending to be you ex-fiancé?”_

_Balth crossed his arms. “Look, I didn’t ask for this. He offered, and I made a quick decision. I may not have thought it through completely, but I really appreciate his help.”_

_“But Balth, you’re not actually dating him, you realize that right? If something happens between the two of you, how will you even know what’s real and what’s a part of the act? What if Peter really is just doing you favor?”_

_“Well, then I’m going to take that chance, Freddie, because whenever I’m around him, I feel better, and he makes me smile, so just let it go.”_

_Freddie’s demeanor changed from overbearing to comforting. “Alright, if you like him that much, I guess I can see why you’d want him around, but no funny business, okay? No shenanigans. Because you’re just going to get hurt if he doesn’t feel the same way.”_

_“He might…” suggested Balth half-heartedly. “Yeah, okay, not shenanigans. We’re gonna have to hold hands and stuff at my parents’ place, but I’ll try and keep it to a minimum.”  
_

_“Good.” Freddie seemed satisfied, and Balth was glad, because just then, he heard the front door open and Ben and Peter bickering on their way to the kitchen._  

…

Balth figured that Freddie would be at his door soon to discuss his broken promise, and sure enough, within minutes of the almost-kiss, there she was. 

Freddie looked liked she was about to launch into a lecture, and Balth was not in the mood. “Can we not do this right now, Freddie?”

She pretended not to hear him for a moment and crawled up into his bed, leaning against the wall. “Okay, if you don’t want me to talk, then _you_ go.”

Balth groaned. “There is nothing to talk about. I was about to kiss my fake-fiancé and you interrupted it. By the way, thanks for that.” He hadn’t realized that he was angry about it until he started talking. “Things were going great until you showed up and yelled at me like a child. You made him run away, you know?” 

“I’m sorry,” she replied, although she didn’t look very guilty. 

“Why can’t you just let me have this, without barging in and messing it up?”

“Because it’s NOT REAL, Balthy!” she exclaimed. Balth was about to shush her, but she realized herself that she was being too loud and shook her head in an apology. She continued in a whisper. “Why were you going to kiss him Stan, anyway? I thought we decided—”

“First of all, _Lauren_ , WE didn’t decide anything. YOU decided on the no shenanigans rule, and then you backed me into a corner until I agreed. And second, I wasn’t going to kiss him. He put his hand on top of mine, so I grabbed it, and then he initiated the kiss.”

Freddie looked surprised for a moment, but she wasn’t distracted for long. “Well I still don’t like this whole situation.”

“Well there’s no need to get angry at me, when the real reason you’re upset is you can’t get Kit to agree to be your boyfriend. Maybe it’s cause you’re too controlling.” That shut her up, but then Balth started to feel guilty. 

“That was uncalled for, Stanley,” Freddie replied after a minute. Her tone was cold and Balth thought maybe she was trying not to cry. He hadn’t realized how much that comment would hurt. 

She started to get out of his bed and leave, but he grabbed her arm before she could. “Wait, Freds. I’m sorry. That was a shitty thing to say.” Freddie paused and listened as Balth continued. “I guess…I guess maybe you have a good point, but I just didn’t want to hear it. I know you’re right, though. I shouldn’t get my hopes up. I mean, it’s Peter we’re talking about, right? Peter’s had like six boyfriends and girlfriends in the four months we’ve been here. We would never work. No matter how much I want us to,” he finished quietly, his voice wavering on the last sentence. He turned away from his friend, because now he was the one tearing up. 

Freddie knew Balthazar well enough to know that when he started crying, he didn’t want anyone else there, so she quietly exited his room. As she opened the door, Balth heard someone else run across the flat and slam a door. Usually, he would have wanted to figure out why, but right now he didn’t give a fuck. 

…

Balth gave himself a few hours to cool down, and wrote half of an English essay before emerging from his room. Ben and Peter were on the couch bantering about something or other. Balth walked over to them and tapped Peter on the shoulder. He jumped a little and turned to see who was behind him with a smile, but when he saw that it was Balth, his face turned stony. 

“Um, Peter, can I talk to you in your room for a sec?” Balth asked quietly. Peter gave him a curt nod in return and followed Balth to his bedroom. When they got there, Peter didn’t sit down, so Balth stayed standing as well. The look on his friend’s face was beginning to make Balth really uncomfortable, so he looked down at the floor. “Listen, um, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for trying to hold your hand earlier and um, trying to kiss you.”

“It’s fine,” Peter said gruffly. “Won’t happen again.”

That threw Balthazar. _What the hell is wrong with Peter? This is supposed to be my apology._ “Right, that’s what I was thinking. Only minimal PDA at my house and no…practicing.”

Peter shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at the wall directly behind Balth’s head. “Good plan.” He sounded angry, but Balth had no idea why. Whatever the reason, it seemed like a good time to leave, so he nodded in response to Peter and walked back to his room. The last thing he heard before closing his own door was the slam of Peter’s. _What the fuck?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tune in next time to find out 'what the hell is wrong with Peter?'!! 
> 
> Thanks for all the love, this fic is turning out to be a lot of fun :)


	4. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Peter is upset, Ben is confused, and Balthazar is tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? Another chapter? Yes! And this one is Peter's point of view. The first part directly follows chapter 2.

Balth looked down at his hands and pulled his sleeves over them. “Well, I guess I’m in trouble,” he said with a slight smile. 

Peter didn’t even notice how red Balth’s face was because he was too busy trying to figure out what to say to someone after you almost kiss them. (A few options he was considering included: _What did that mean? Do you like me? Or was that really just practicing? Can we try again?_ ) He decided the best option would be, “Um, thank for the lesson. See you later,” and then he dashed over to his room and all but slammed the door. 

When Peter got to his room, he didn’t even bother to turn on the lights, he just collapsed onto his bed and covered up his face. A few minutes of self-pitying later, he realized that he didn’t know what Balth meant when he said he was in trouble with Freddie. _Why would Balth be in trouble with Freddie for almost kissing me? Does that mean Balth talked to Freddie about wanting to kiss me? If that’s true, then why is she mad that Balth almost kissed me? It’s not her problem who he kisses!_

That’s when he remembered that they hadn’t almost kissed for real. They had only almost kissed for “practice,” which Peter thought now was the dumbest thing he had ever said right before trying to kiss someone. _That being said, it hadn’t driven Balth away. If I remember correctly, he was the one who leaned in first. And the look on his face. It didn’t feel fake. I think maybe he really did want to kiss me…_

Peter realized that this was his chance. He wasn’t about to let this get out of hand and have them both liking the other without sharing their feelings. He decided to be the brave one, so he got out of bed, smoothed out his shirt, and headed out of his room.

He took a deep breath and approached Balthazar’s door, but he was stopped by the sound of Balth’s voice. 

“I shouldn’t get my hopes up. I mean, it’s Peter we’re talking about, right? Peter’s had like six boyfriends and girlfriends in the four months we’ve been here. We would never work.”

Peter was stunned for a moment and stumbled backward from the door. The first thing that registered in his mind was that Balth had hopes about him that he was trying not to get up. _That means he likes me, right?_ But then, he processed the rest of his friend’s words. _Wow, nice of him to say what he really feels,_ he thought sarcastically. So apparently, Balthazar did not think that Peter was boyfriend material even if he did like him, but he didn’t have the guts to say that to Peter’s face. _What a dick_. 

A moment later, he heard footsteps coming toward him from Balth’s room, so he bolted to his own. 

Later that night when Balth came to apologize for the almost-kiss, Peter took it as confirmation that Balth didn’t want to be with him, and kept his expression cold in an attempt to hide how he was really feeling: devastated. 

…

The next three days were very tense in the flat, so on Thursday night, the night before he was supposed to leave with Balth, Peter invited Ben out for drinks. Ben agreed, on the condition that Peter didn’t let him drink too much since he was driving eight hours in the car the next day. Peter didn’t make any promises. Freddie and Ben exchanged a weird look as they passed her on the way out the door, but Peter tried his best to ignore them.

They walked in silence for awhile before Ben spoke. “So are you…okay? You’ve been kind of weird the past few days.”

“Well why don’t you ask Freddie? You seem to be talking to her a lot lately,” he snapped.

“Woah, Pete. I’ve just been checking in with her because neither you or Balth will talk about what’s happening between you two and—”

“Maybe that’s because NOTHING is happening between us. I’m just going to pretend to be his  fiancé as a favor, and that is all.”

Ben sighed. “Why are you still doing this? It’s obvious that you’re upset about something, and Balth has something to do with it. So why don’t you just tell him that you can’t go home with him?”

“NO!” Peter exclaimed. “Sorry. I mean no.” No matter how upset Peter was, he was still head over heels for Balth and he wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, even if it was all an act on Balthazar’s side. The last few days had been painful since they weren’t really speaking much, and Peter missed his friend. Sure, he was angry that Balth didn’t think he would make a good boyfriend, but he knew his anger would disappear the second Balth showed any sign of affection. He also knew that he needed to keep reminding himself that this was just pretend, but that wasn’t a very appealing thought. _God, I’m fucked._

Suddenly, Peter stopped. “What?” asked Ben, a few paces ahead of him.

“I don’t want to go to a bar and drink.” 

Ben cocked his head, confused. “Why?”

_I want to be at home snuggling with Balthazar._ “I’m just not feeling it, I guess. I think I want to go for a walk by myself. Sort some stuff out, you know?”

“Oh,” replied Ben. At first he seemed a little dejected at being invited out and then asked to leave, but Peter saw a wave of relief pass over his face a moment later. “I’ll just head home then. I s’pose it’s better if I don’t get drunk tonight. Gotta be at my best for Bea tomorrow. Have a nice walk, but don’t be out too late, okay?”

“I won’t,” promised Peter, and they parted ways. 

_…_

Peter returned to the flat at about twelve-thirty that night. The house was quiet and Ben and Freddie seemed to be asleep. It took him a moment, but then Peter noticed that Balth was sitting on the couch, his arm on the armrest and his head in his hand. He seemed to have dozed off. _Was he waiting up for me? No, he was probably just reading._ But there were no books or magazines on the coffee table, and Balth’s laptop was nowhere to be seen. 

He approached his sleeping friend and tapped him on the arm to see if he would respond. When Balth didn’t even stir, Peter figured it would be safe to pick him up and carry him to his bed. After all, he was a pretty small guy. Peter gently placed one arm behind Balth’s back and the other under his knees and lifted him up. 

He carried the smaller boy across the living room and pushed open Balth’s door with his foot. Then, he tried to set Balth down on his bed, but found that he couldn’t because Balth had grabbed hold of his neck. 

“Stay,” he whispered.

Peter was startled, and at first he thought that Balth must be talking in his sleep, but his eyes were half open. 

“I want you to stay,” he repeated sleepily as he finally let Peter set him down. Well, Peter didn’t think he could say no to that offer, nor did he want to, so he kicked off his jeans and lay down next to Balth. There was some rustling and his realized he was being spooned. “I’ve missed you,” his big spoon whispered in his ear.

He turned his head and was about to ask Balth why he had waited up for him, but the boy was already fast asleep, an arm draped around Peter’s waist. 

Peter decided that was probably for the best, since he probably would have ruined the moment anyway, if you could even call this a moment. He breathed in the intoxicating smell of Balthazar and was asleep within seconds without time to overthink anything.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww they're cuties. BUT DON'T GET TOO COMFORTABLE. The angst is coming. In full force this time. Get ready. 
> 
> ps. you're all the best thanks for reading and supporting!


	5. Airplanes and Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a kiss, and Jojo reveals that she knows something important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POV alternates when there are three dots separating a chunk. It goes Balth, Peter, Balth.
> 
> Also, all you people out there reading my fics, you are super awesome and I appreciate you!

When Balth woke up the next morning, he was snuggling a pillow. “Hmm, that was a nice dream,” he said to himself. He had been dreaming that Peter had carried him to bed and stayed the night.

Peter must have heard him rustling about from the living room, because he shouted, “Hey, did you say something?”

“No, I was just…” he looked up and found that Peter was standing in his doorway wearing the exact same clothes that he’d been wearing in Balth’s dream. “Did you…”

Peter looked scared and seemed to be on the verge of fleeing the flat. “Yeah, you asked me to. You told me to stay.”

Balth nodded. “Okay, cool. Well, thanks for staying.” _Oh my god, what is happening?_ He smiled in an attempt to calm Peter down, but it had no effect on his own state of panic. 

The grin seemed to work, and Peter smiled back at him. “Cool, well I was just finishing up breakfast and then I have a few more things to pack. We’re leaving at nine, right?”

Balth looked at his alarm clock. It said 8:15. “Uhhh…” Peter always seemed more relaxed about time, but Balth still needed to shower and figure out which instruments would fit in his suitcase. “Yeah…I think I can make that if I hurry.” Peter nodded and went back to his food. 

…

After saying goodbye to Ben and Freddie, Peter and Balth got into a cab to the airport.

Peter spent the cab ride to debating whether or not to ask Balth what last night meant. He wanted to ask why Balth had waited up for him and why he had wrapped his arm around him like they were boyfriends. He wanted to ask why Balth smelled so good, even in the middle of the night and why he had told Peter that he had missed him. In the end, he decided against asking any questions. 

For the first time, Peter realized that maybe it was best to just go with the flow. If he got hurt, he could recover. Granted, it would be hell, but he was basically a grown man and he could do it. 

The airport was crowded and hectic. They checked their suitcases and got in line for security, and by the time they were cleared, they only had ten minutes to get to their gate.

There were hundreds of people crowding the halls of the airport and they all seemed to be talking on their phones and running at the same time. Peter and Balth almost got separated several times until Balth grabbed Peter’s hand. “So I don’t lose you!” Balth shouted over the noise. Peter only grinned. _Balthazar Jones doesn’t want to lose me_. 

Minutes later, they were settled on the plane and neither boy had made any move to let go of the other’s hand. Soon, Balthazar fell asleep with his head on Peter’s shoulder. He tried not to be creepy and watch Balth sleep, but it was hard because when Balth dozed off, his lips parted just a little and his eyes fluttered every few seconds. It was possibly the most beautiful sight Peter had ever seen. 

A few hours later, Peter looked out the window and saw the cityscape of Balth’s hometown, Christchurch. He poked his sleeping travel companion. “Hey, we’re almost there.”

Balth lifted his head and opened his eyes sleepily. “Hi.” He leaned up and pecked Peter on the lips. It was a quick, chaste kiss, but Peter still had to try very hard to keep from audibly protesting when Balth pulled back. 

His feeling of ecstasy disappeared when he saw the look of horror on Balth’s face. The other boy’s eyes widened as he pulled his hand away from Peter’s, unbuckled his seatbelt, and tried to run to the toilet. Unfortunately for him, a stewardess was right on his heels. 

“Excuse me sir, you have to sit down. Right now, please.”

Balth looked like he might throw up right there in the aisle, but he did as he was told. 

Now it was Peter’s turn to be embarrassed. _Was it really that sickening for him to kiss me? Great. Well, that’s that. I guess we’re never kissing again unless there’s a fucking barf-bag in my pocket_. 

…

They both sat rigidly next to each other for the rest of the flight. Balth couldn’t believe what he had done. _God, I can’t sleep in the same vicinity with him, or next time someone’s going to be missing a shirt. That was so stupid. He obviously didn’t enjoy it. He didn’t even say anything. Fuck fuck fuck fuck_.

When the plane landed, he practically sprang from his seat and led Peter off the plane in silence.

Upon entering his hometown airport, Balth felt slightly more at ease. He didn’t really like flying, which was why he slept the whole time, but he did like the Christchurch airport. He guessed it was because as a child, he had been there several times with the rest of his family to pick up Jojo when she flew home from school. 

He realized that no matter how weird things were between him and Peter right now, they needed to be on the same page in terms of the fake-fiancé situation. Before getting on the escalator down to baggage claim where his family would be, Balth stopped Peter. “Are you ready?”

Peter looked back at him coldly, but then he nodded and put on a very large grin that didn’t make it any further than his lips; his eyes stayed icy. “Ready as I’ll ever be,” he said grimly through his teeth, and then grabbed Balth’s hand. 

He hadn’t been expecting Peter to want to hold his hand anytime soon, but he agreed that it would look convincing for his family. After all, that was the goal, right?

“Thanks, Fred-Bear,” he quipped, hoping to break the tension. 

Peter snorted. _Mission accomplished._ “You’re welcome Balthy-babe,” he replied. 

Balth pretended to gag at the nickname and pulled Peter onto the escalator. “We have got to come up with a better pet name for me. That one is just terrible.”

“How about Zar-zar?”

“Nope, sounds too much like Jar Jar Binks, who I hate.”

“Whatever. We’ll figure it out later.” Peter pointed at a group of people. “Isn’t that your family?”

“Yeah!” Balth cried and pulled Peter toward them.

“Balth!” “Balthy!” “Baby bro!” shouted various members of the Jones family as Peter and Balth neared the corner they were congregated in. 

“Hey everybody!” Balth gave one armed hugs to several of his siblings and his mum without letting go of Peter, before backing up and addressing the entire group. “Everyone, this is Fred, my fiancé.” He smiled up at Peter, and saw that he was smiling for real now, and blushing from all the attention.”

Balth’s dad reached out a hand to shake Peter’s, so Balth let go and went to hug his mum properly. 

“Nice to meet you, Fred. It’s a pleasure to have you joining the family.” 

Peter gave a firm handshake and said, “It’s nice to meet you too, Mr. Jones.”

“Call me Terry. And this is my wife, Jill,” replied Balth’s dad, gesturing toward the woman next to him. 

Balth watched quietly as Peter hugged his mum all of his sisters in turn, and smiled as he shook Xander’s hand. He was really impressed at Peter’s ability to play a part. He really was a great actor. For a moment, Balth forgot that he wasn’t actually engaged to Pete. 

When everyone was introduced, Terry and Peter went to retrieve the luggage, Jill, Rosa and the twins went to bring the cars around, and Jojo hung back with Balth. 

“So that’s Fred, huh?” she asked.

“Mhmm,” he answered, looking down at his hands. Jojo was the member of his family who could read him best, and she was very good at figuring out when he was lying. “Yup. That’s Fred.”

“Has he changed his hair? Because when I was Facebook stalking your fiancé, like a good sister does, he seemed to have a bit of a different….everything!”

_Oh, shit. She knows. Why didn’t I assume she looked him up? Did anybody else look him up?_

Balth groaned and Jojo looked smug. “I won’t tell, I promise. But what’s going on here? He may as well be your fiancé the way you’re looking at him. And I’d wager that he wouldn’t be opposed to that either by the way he’s trying to impress dad.”

“He’s a good actor,” said Balth, blushing. Jojo gave him a pointed look. “Okay okay, he’s my flatmate and his name is Peter and he is definitely _not_ in love with me, but I think I might be in love with—” he stopped suddenly when he saw that Peter and his dad were coming back with the suitcases, “—Wellington. I think I’m in love with Wellington. It’s a great city. Isn’t it Fred?” He caught Peter’s eye and Peter started rambling on about the city while Balth grabbed onto his sister’s arm to keep from falling over. She gave his hand a comforting pat and shot him a sympathetic look that said, “Wanna talk later?” 

He nodded. _Shit, it’s going to be a long couple of weeks._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tune in next time for more awkward conversations and some very excited twelve year-olds!


	6. Football and Floors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Peter becomes acquainted with the Jones family and Balth says something rather incriminating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter's POV this time! All you readers and commenters make me smile!

Peter had assumed he would be riding home in the same car as Balth, since they were supposed to be engaged, but the twins were so fascinated by their brother’s fiancé that Peter ended up in Rosa’s car with Aurelia and Xander in the backseat, while Balth rode with Jojo and his parents. He was glad for this because he needed a break from being around Balth. It wasn’t that acting the part was more difficult around Balth, but it was harder for Peter to forget that the engagement was fake, even for a moment, when Balth kept constantly shooting him weird glances.

He was happy to be in the car with Rosa because, besides Balthazar, she was the Jones he was most familiar with. She had come round the flat a few times, and while Peter had been out with…friends…both times, Balth had described her visits and told him all about Rosa’s most recent travels. 

Now that he’d met her, Rosa seemed a little more brisk than in Balth’s stories, but she was exceedingly sweet to the twins and had been kind to Peter so far. He decided he liked her. 

His musings were interrupted by someone rapidly tapping him on his shoulder. “Hey Fred, hey Fred!” 

Peter couldn’t help but smile at Aurelia’s excited tone. He turned around from the front seat to look her in the eye. “Yes, Aurelia?”

“Are you gonna be, like, our big brother now too?”

“Yes ma’am,” he replied, and Aurelia giggled. “Is that alright with you?” he enquired playfully.

“Only if you like football,” Xander chimed in.

Peter grinned back at him. He briefly wondered if Fred liked football, but quickly decided that it didn’t matter. “Of course I like football! I used the captain of my team in high school. Do you two play football?”

Both kids nodded excitedly. “And I’m also on the swim team,” announced Aurelia. “But we’re taking a break for the winter holiday.”

The rest of the car ride was spent in playful banter between Peter and the kids while Rosa smiled quietly from the driver’s seat. She seemed to enjoy watching “Fred” bond with her younger siblings. 

…

It was about six p.m. when both cars arrived at the Jones’ house and everyone was unloaded. There was a discussion about what to order for dinner that night, and the group consensus was pizza. Balth’s mum disappeared to put in the order and most of the others congregated in the family room where Xander and Aurelia immediately began playing their favorite football video game. 

Peter was about to go in and declare that he would play the winner, when Balthazar pulled him away. Rosa gave them a questioning look, so Balth called behind him, “I just need his help with something. We’ll be back in a second.”

“They’re going to make out!” cried Xander, causing Aurelia to collapse in a fit of giggles and “ewws!” 

While making out did sound appealing to Peter, the look on Balth’s face suggested that they were not about to kiss each other senselessly. Balth led the way to his room, and without the excitement and the commotion of the other members of the household, Peter remembered his earlier anger. The carefree grin he had been sporting dropped off his face as soon as he was alone with the other boy. All he could think of as he looked at his friend was the expression of pure look of repulsion on Balthazar’s face after they had accidentally kissed on the plane.

Peter saw Balth glance at him for a moment, and when the shorter boy looked away quickly, Peter tried very hard to keep his face from showing how hurt he was. 

After a moment, Balth glanced back up at Peter and spoke. “I just wanted to tell you that Jojo knows. She knew right away somehow. But she promised not to tell anyone else.”

Peter waited for more of an explanation, but Balth was silent. “Um, okay. I guess it’s probably okay if she knows, right? As long as your parents don’t find out while I’m still here.”

“Yeah.”

Peter stared absentmindedly past Balth, mostly to avoid looking him in the eye, when he noticed Balth’s bed and realized that they had never discussed sleeping arrangements. Would they have to share a bed since they were “engaged”? Or maybe Balth’s parents had a rule about unmarried couples sleeping together. He hoped so, although it seemed unlikely. A few days ago, yesterday even, Peter would have (and actually had) jumped at the chance to share Balth’s bed, but right now he wasn’t keen on being in the same room with other boy for more than ten minutes. 

Balth saw Peter staring at the bed and he suddenly remember an earlier conversation. “Oh, about beds, I figured you wouldn’t want to share a bed, so I asked my parents about it and they said—”

“Hang on. You figured _I_ wouldn’t want to sleep in the same bed as _you_? Wow, that’s rich considering…” Peter stopped himself before blowing up because he really didn’t want to talk about the kiss on the plane right now. 

Balth looked up at Peter with a startlingly sad look in his eyes. “Why…why are you upset? Did you um, want to share a bed with me?” 

He sounded so meek and afraid that Peter wanted to scoop him up and tell him that of course he wanted to sleep next to him, but a stronger part of him was still angry. “No, I think I’d rather not. Thanks for _asking,_ ” he practically yelled. 

“Okay, okay. I’ll take the floor then,” Balth said, backing up when Peter raised his voice.

Peter scrunched up his nose in confusion. “I thought you said…”

“No, you didn’t let me finish before. As I was saying, I asked my parents about having you sleep in the guest room—I said it was because you were like, really religious or something, but my mum insisted that you share mine because we’re ‘engaged’ and all. But like I said, I don’t mind the floor.” 

Peter’s cold look faltered. “Well I don’t want to make you sleep on the floor in your own house.”

“Take turns?” Balth suggested. Peter nodded in response. “Okay, I’ll take it tonight. Sorry about the uh, misunderstanding, Pete. With the beds,” he clarified. “Um, you’re doing a really awesome job with the acting. I think my family, besides Jojo of course, is really buying it. And the twins love you.” He paused and smiled a little shyly. “In fact, I think Aurelia has a bigger crush on you than…” 

_Oh my god, is he going to say Aurelia has a bigger crush on me than he does? Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit._

Balth was now a rather dark shade of red. “…Well anyway, I should get back downstairs. Pizza will be here soon.” He headed toward the door, but all Peter could do was stare at the way Balth’s blush traveled all the way down to his collarbone. “You coming, Pete?”

“Just a sec,” Peter breathed. As soon as he wasn’t needed in the room anymore, Balth literally ran out the door. “Oh wow,” he said to himself after Balth was gone. He knew he was possibly the worst at figuring out what Balth was thinking at any given time, but he was pretty damn sure that Balth had been about to say that he had a crush on Peter. “Damn, way to leave me hanging there, Balthy.”

Peter wanted nothing more than to run after Balthazar and tell him that his crush was requited, but there had been s many mixed signals in the air over the past week, that he thought better of it. Maybe Balth liked him, but just the other day, he had said that they would never work as a couple. Perhaps he should give it a little more time.

He shook his head and walked back downstairs. _This is getting way too complicated._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh well that wasn't fluff, but I'd say that end bit was fluff adjacent....
> 
> And this is only day one of the holiday. We're only getting started ;)


	7. Pancakes and a Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Peter tells a long-winded story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh it's been so long! College got busy, but here's another chapter. A bit short today, but at least it's something!

The next day was Saturday, and Balthazar woke up feeling a little sore from sleeping on the floor. He didn’t mind, though. Mostly, he was glad that he and Peter were on good enough terms that they were able to share a room without shouting at each other, since Peter had seemed strangely angry the night before. He still couldn’t believe that he had almost confessed his crush (or rather, his undying love) for Peter the previous evening, and he didn’t think he had covered it up very well. Peter had given him a weird look as he was leaving the room, but if he had figured out what Balth was about to say, he hadn’t mentioned it. That was fine.

The rest of the evening had been pleasant, and they had even held hands for awhile. To show my parents we are in love, Balth told himself. Jojo had given them a few teasing looks throughout the night, but he’d glared at her until she rolled her eyes and looked away.

Balth glanced at his wall clock in his room. It was almost ten and Peter wasn’t in bed, but he could hear some enthusiastic cheering from the family room. He smiled to himself. His twin siblings had taken a very quick liking to Peter, and it seemed as though his friend returned their sentiments. 

Balth sat up from the floor, grabbed a jumper and shuffled downstairs. When he got downstairs and followed the sounds of conversation to the family room, he was greeted by the giggles of the twins as Peter tackled them in a tickle attack.

“Morning sleepy-head,” greeted Jojo, noticing his yawn.

Balth tried to say something back, but all that came out was a yawn noise. This sent the twins into another fit of hysteria, during which they fell off the couch and into a pile on the carpet. Balth opted for a little wave instead of trying to speak over the laughter.

Peter was sitting on the largest couch with the twins at his feet, Rosa and Jojo were on the smaller one, and his mum was nestled in an armchair. His dad wasn’t in the room, but judging by the smell of breakfast that was filling the house, he was in the kitchen.

When Aurelia finally caught her breath, she bounced over to Balthazar. “Dad’s making pancakes!” she exclaimed, pulling Balth to the couch and pushing him down rather close to Peter. They both laughed at the determined look on her face as she nodded in their direction and sat down in front of Peter again. 

Moments later, Balth’s dad served everyone their pancakes, and there were a few minutes of silence as everyone devoured their stack. About halfway through her second pancake, his mum said, “So, you two, I never did ask about how Fred proposed!”

“Tell the story!” commanded Aurelia.

Balthazar panicked. He had completely forgotten to tell Peter what had happened. It had been rather simple, really. He and Fred had been at a park near downtown Wellington, sitting on a bench, and out of nowhere Fred had popped the question.

He looked to Peter and was ready to jump in and explain, but Peter seemed right in his element. “Well, everyone. Get ready, because this is the most romantic thing you’ll hear for a while. So, it was our six month anniversary, and I realized the I loved Balthazar so much that there was no point in waiting to ask him, because I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life.”

Balth could feel himself sweating and he hoped no one else could tell. He had a feeling this was about to get a little out of hand.

“So you proposed on your six month anniversary?” asked Aurelia.

Peter shook his head. “No, that would have been too simple. That was just when I decided to start planning. I wanted the proposal to have something to do with music, so I started writing a song for Balthy. The song turned out pretty good, but I don’t fancy myself a very good singer. I’m not awful, but I didn’t want my shaky singing voice to be the way I proposed. Then, I had a fantastic idea: Balth was going to be singing at an open mike at my coffee shop the next week, so I asked him to play the song, telling him it was something my friend Jacquie had written. It was all about loving someone so much you might burst open, and at the end, it says ‘will you marry me?’. He didn’t think anything of it, because I had asked him to play Jacquie’s songs a couple times before. 

“The next week at the coffee shop, I told Balth to perform ‘Jacquie’s’ song last. When he got near the end, I started walking up to the stage and on the last line, I knelt down on one knee and he finally noticed that I was there. He couldn’t manage to get the last words out because he was so surpised, so I sang them instead. Then I properly asked him to marry me, and he said yes. He even teared up a bit. It was very adorable.” Peter winked at Balth, who rolled his eyes. 

Everyone cheered, even Jojo, who seemed to have forgotten that this was pretend, and Balth could feel himself blushing deeply.

Then, Peter got this look in his eyes. It was like he was trying to ask permission for something, but Balth didn’t know what. He quickly figured it out when Peter began leaning toward him and closing his eyes. 

Internally, Balth panicked, but externally he remembered to keep calm because people who are engaged kiss all the time. Still, he was pretty fucking excited. In the heat of the moment, he didn’t care whether or not Pete was still acting, of if this was real, because he just wanted to kiss him again. For real this time. Not some half-asleep peck on a plane.

When their lips touched, Balth’s whole body visibly relaxed and he let go of a lot of tension he hadn’t realized he was holding. He let Peter be in charge of the kiss because he felt that if he took charge, it may go from g-rated to r-rated in ten seconds. Peter apparently remembered that there were other people around, because after a few long seconds, he pulled away. Balth was brought back to reality by the ‘whoops’ from his family, but all he could focus on was Peter’s smile.


	8. Peter and Penguins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rosa is very sly.

“Alright everybody! We are out the door in five minutes!” called Balth’s mum.

The whole family plus “Fred” were taking a day trip to the International Antarctic Center that Sunday. Rosa had protested, but Balth’s mum had insisted since the twins love it and “Fred” had never been. Peter found himself starting to wince every time someone called him “Fred”, but despite that, he was pretty excited to see the penguins. 

When they arrived at the Center, the family split up into groups. Somehow, Peter got put in a different group than Balth, and he suspected it had something to do with the mischievous grin on Rosa’s face. 

He was kind of frustrated by this development, because he had been hoping to talk to Balth about that amazing kiss they had shared the night before. They hadn’t gotten any time alone at all yesterday because the whole family was catching up and Balth’s mum kept asking Peter questions about coffee. That night, Peter had gone to bed before Balth, and in his state of extreme exhaustion, he “forgot” that it was his turn to sleep on the floor. To his delight, when he woke up this morning, he saw that Balth had also fallen asleep in the bed. But only moments after he was awoken by the chirping of birds, Balth’s dad knocked loudly on the door and told the boys that it was time to get up and head out.

Still, he didn’t mind spending the day with Rosa, Aurelia, and Xander. He had grown quite close to the twelve year-olds over the past couple of days. The twins bounced ahead of Peter and Rosa shouting something about penguins, and Peter smiled. 

His smile quickly faded when he noticed Rosa staring at him knowingly. “What? There something in my teeth?” he asked self-consciously. 

Rosa chuckled. “No.”

“Then what?”

“You’re in love with him.”

“Who, Balth? Well, yeah, we’re engaged. That’s kind of part of the deal.”

She shook her head. “No, Peter. _You_ are in love with him. Not ‘Fred’”

“How do you—”

“Jojo told me. She can’t keep secrets from me. But I figured out you love him all on my own. Once I knew you weren’t really engaged, it was pretty obvious. What kind of person kisses someone like that when they aren’t in love with them? Nobody except for exceptionally good actors, I’d say.”

Peter was blushing, but he decided to pretend that he wasn’t. “I’m actually an actor. I’m pretty good, I might add.”

Rosa shook her head. “Nobody’s that good.”

Peter grimaced. There was no way out now. “Well maybe you’re right, but it doesn’t matter. He very clearly conveyed that he wasn’t interested several times over the past week. So just drop it please.”

“Are you kidding?? He’s totally head-over-heels for you! It was the first thing he said to Jojo when you two got off the plane!” exclaimed Rosa, her expression one of awe at Peter’s obliviousness.

Peter tripped over his feet. That got the twins’ attention, and now all three of the present Jones siblings were giggling at him sprawled out on the floor of the hallway. After a minute, Rosa reached out a hand to Peter and helped him to his feet. Then, she pointed toward the door ahead. “Hey kids, look there are the penguins! You two go ahead. We’ll be there in a sec.”

After the twins ran off, Rosa continued. “So are you going to tell him you love him for real? Because according to Jojo, he has no clue.”

“Really? I thought I was being too obvious! Yeah, of course I am. And then we can end this ridiculousness and I can just be me and not Fred. And then people will stop asking me about my coffee business.”

Rosa tried and failed to hold back a smile. “Sorry, that was mostly my fault. I told my mum that you really love talking about coffee, so she kind of went crazy about it. Oops.” She didn’t look sorry, but Peter chuckled anyway.

“It’s fine. And hey, thanks for telling me. We could have gone on like this for the whole break with no one admitting their feelings. I owe you one.”

The mischievous look reappeared on Rosa’s face. “Good. You can take the twins into the room where it’s negative five degrees celsius, while I wait outside.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit short, but don't worry, the big confession is coming soon!


	9. Blushing and Backpedaling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Peter and Balth say some stuff I hope they don't mean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh I've been so busy, but here's some fluff and some angst.

That night at nine p.m, Rosa, Peter, and the twins pulled into the Jones’ driveway. Balth, Jojo, and their parents were already home, but Rosa had stopped for gas on the way back from dinner so they were about ten minutes behind the others.

Rosa put the car in park and nodded at Peter, “Go get him, tiger.”

Peter grinned and bolted from the car and up the path to the house. 

“What did you say to him, Rosie?” asked Aurelia as she got out of the car and Peter laughed aloud when he heard Rosa trying to explain herself. 

He left her on her own and ran into the house. Balth and his parents were sitting in the living room. Suddenly Peter felt nervous. “Balth, um,” he took a deep breath, “can I see you in your room for a second?”

Balth bit his lip and looked around the room, as if he were looking for a way out. When he didn’t find one, he nodded and followed Peter out of the room. 

Peter practically jogged up the stairs to Balth’s room, grabbed Balth by the hand, and dragged him into the room. He slammed the door behind them and kissed Balth hard on the mouth.

When they broke apart, Balth started stuttering. “W-what does th-this mean, Pet—” 

“Shut up. I wasn’t finished,” growled Peter before kissing Balth again with even more passion than before. When he finally started feeling lightheaded from the lack of air, he pulled away properly. 

Balth opened his mouth to say something, but couldn’t seem to find any words.

Peter grinned. “And to answer your question: Yes, this means that I’m in love with you too.”

“What—When did I—I never said…” muttered Balth. And then, “Jojo! Ooh I’m never telling her a secret again.” 

“Actually this one’s on Rosa. But aren’t you kind of glad she told me? Because now we get to do this.” He pulled Balth in for another brief kiss. 

“Mmm you’re right. I’ll have to get her something extra for Christmas this year.” 

…

They didn’t emerge from the room for the rest of the evening and the rest of Balth’s family left them to themselves. For a few hours, Balth and Peter sat on Balth’s bed and watched Buffy on his laptop. Peter was tired, but he didn’t want to sleep.

After their third episode it was almost one a.m. and Peter was snuggled up against Balth’s side. “Hey Balthy, how long have you been in love with me?”

Balth dragged his hand through Peter’s hair. “Hmm, well it’s hard to say, I guess. I only broke it off with Fred a few weeks ago, and that was because I couldn’t keep denying my feelings for you, so I’d say I those feelings started about a month ago? How about you?” 

Peter could feel himself blushing even though Balth couldn’t see his face. “Uh, a bit longer than that…”

Balth turned so he was facing Peter. “Wait, you have to tell me now! How long??”

Now Peter was sure he was a deep shade of red. “March,” he whispered. He half expected Balth to laugh, but he just grinned and pulled Peter in for a magical kiss. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes after that until Balth spoke again. “How come you were so weird and distant last week after we almost kissed? Did I say something to upset you? Because I guess I still don’t know how much of this weekend was real and how much was your stellar acting.” 

“Oh, well that night I was going to tell you that I liked you, but when I got to your door I heard you telling Freddie that you and I would never work because I had already had so many boyfriends and girlfriends this year. So I thought it would be easier if I kept my distance. When we got here I got to pretend this was real and it felt really good. It felt right. But, um…do you still think we wouldn’t make a good couple?”

Balth was glad to hear that this weekend was real for Peter, but he also realized he had some explaining to do. “I never thought that. Not really. I was just trying to convince myself because I didn’t think you liked me. I think we are pretty amazing together.” He smiled, but Peter was still frowning a little. “What? Oh shit. Is it about the kiss on the plane?”

“Yeah,” Peter confirmed. “You looked like you were about to throw up after you kissed me. It was kind of disconcerting. Why did you kiss me if you didn’t want to?”

He shoved Peter on the shoulder. “You idiot! Of course I wanted to kiss you! Didn’t you hear what I just said about being in love with you for a month? I only acted all weird cause I thought I had totally ruined our friendship.”

Peter grinned. “Well as it turns out, I think we turned our friendship into something even better.” 

They made out for a little while after that, but Peter pulled back a bit sooner than Balth would have liked. “Balthy?”

“Yeah Pete?”

“Do you want to tell your family right away tomorrow morning or wait for that family lunch your mum mentioned?”

Balth looked confused. “Tell them what?”

“That I’m not Fred. That I am actually your friend Peter who you just realized you were in love with and who is now your boyfriend.” 

“Oh.”

“What do you mean, ‘oh’?” asked Peter, furrowing his brow.

Balth seemed to be trying to find the right words. “I was uh, kind of hoping we could wait on that…”

“Until the next day? That’s fine.”

“No. Like, not during this trip.”

Peter pulled himself away from Balth so they weren’t touching anymore. “What? You want me to pretend to be fucking Fred for another week and a half? Why? Are you embarrassed to be dating me, Peter the screwup who works in a bar and doesn’t own a coffee shop?”

Balth tried to backpedal. “No no no, I’m not embarrassed, I just really don’t want to disappoint my parents right now—”

“Oh, so I’m not someone you’d want to bring home to your family? I’m only acceptable when I’m acting like Fred? I would be a disappointment to your parents?” Peter was yelling by now.

“Shhh, you’ll wake the twins!” exclaimed Balth as quietly as he could. “Look, it would just be easier this way. Less complicated. And we’re so new. You know what I mean? And they weren’t expecting this.”

Peter nodded. “No, I get it. You don’t want to tell your parents about me because you don’t think I’m good enough.” He got out of the bed and grabbed his socks from where he had thrown them earlier. Balth tried to speak, but Peter interrupted him before he started. “No, I don’t want to hear any more of your stupid excuses. I can’t believe this.” He packed up all of his things, zipped up his suitcase, and walked to the door. “I hope you have fun explaining why ‘Fred’ left you tomorrow morning.” Then he turned around and left.

Balth sat speechless on his bed and moments later he heard the front door slam. “Fuck.”


	10. An Ode to Pedro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally the happy ending!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woooooo hey folks. If anybody out there is still reading this pairing, I last posted a chapter for this story 2 full years ago but it's been bugging me ever since so today I finally finished it. I hope somebody enjoys <333

Balth didn’t remember falling asleep that night, but he must’ve tired himself out crying because the next thing he knew it was late morning, Rosa was barging into his room with Jojo on her heels. “Good morning lovebirds, did you finally talk it ou—” Rosa stoppedabruptly when she noticed Peter’s absence from the bed and Balthazar’s puffy face. “What happened, Balthy?”

“What, you didn’t hear him slam the front door last night?” asked Balth bitterly. “Shit. No. This is my fault. I don’t get to be angry. I am such an idiot.” He flopped back on his bed and buried his face in his pillow.

Rosa and Jojo sat down on either side of him on the bed. “Hey, no you’re not. Why did he leave?” asked Jojo calmly as she rubbed Balth’s back.

He rolled over and sighed in frustration at himself. “He wanted to tell Mum and Dad and the twins that he wasn’t really Fred and that we—me and Peter were dating now but I told him I didn’t want to. And then I accidentally told him he isn’t good enough to bring home to my family. So he left, and now I don’t even know if we’re still dating or not.”

“Well, what are you waiting for, then?” asked Rosa, getting up.

Balth raised his eyebrows. “Huh?”

“Go after him, stupid. Slow motion meeting in an airport kinda thing. You know, rom-com stuff.”

“I hate rom-coms.”

Rosa rolled her eyes, ignoring Jojo’s waring look. “Oh boo-hoo. Get out of bed. We’re going to Wellington.” Balth didn’t move. “Come ON! I’m driving. Car leaves in fifteen. Jojo can explain to Mum and Dad, right?”

Jojo opened her mouth to protest, but Rosa pouted and gave her puppy-dog eyes, so she shut it. 

Balth took a deep breath. “Yeah. You’re right, Rosie. Yeah. Okay, I’m coming. Just gotta pack my stuff and brush my teeth.” He turned to Jojo. “Tell Mum and Dad I’m sorry for lying, but that I really love Peter and I have to get him back.” Jojo nodded in response and the girls left him alone to pack.

…

Less than fifteen minutes later, Balth was sitting in the front seat of Rosa’s car waving to his family as she pulled out of the driveway. 

They quietly listened to the radio for the first hour or so, until Rosa asked, “So what are you going to say to him?”

Balth managed a half-smile, acknowledging how invested Rosa was in his love life. “I guess I was just going to be honest and say I’m sorry.”

Rosa shook her head wildly. “Have you seriously never seen anything romantic on tv? You need a speech or a song or a banner or…something!”

A song. Balth could write a song. He grabbed a notebook and a pen out of his backpack and started scribbling.

Rosa periodically tried to get him out of his trance, but once Balth started composing there was no stopping him. He thought up a melody that he liked, and he could hear the chords he would play under it. Then, he started writing the lyrics. He was surprised how quickly the words flowed. It usually took him hours to find the right rhymes and perfect phrases, but not today.

By the time they arrived at the airport, Balth had the whole melody and the chorus lyrics written down on staff paper.

“Alright, here we are, kiddo.”

“Thank you thank you thank you, Rosa. I wouldn’t have been able to do this without you. I love you!”

“Love you too, Balthy. Good luck.”

“Thanks,” said Balth with a weak smile. He grabbed his bag from where he’d stuck it in the backseat, and hurried to the door labeled Air New Zealand.

Usually, Balth was one of those people who fell asleep as soon as he sat down on a plane, but this time was different. He had under an hour to finish writing the best song of his whole damn life. He tried to keep his humming to a minimum, but apparently he did not succeed at that because the lady next to him kept glaring. _You try writing a song without a guitar, Ma’am_.

The plane landed after what felt like five minutes, but thankfully Balth had finished his song just in time. He rushed through the crowds of people at the Wellington airport and grabbed a taxi, quickly shoving his bag in the boot. He gave the driver the address of his flat, and asked him as politely as he could to hurry. 

At the flat, he jumped out of the cab, almost forgetting to pay the driver. “Sorry!” he said as he handed the driver a couple of bills. “Thank you.”

Balth grabbed his bag from the boot and practically sprinted to the door. He tried the doorknob it was open, saving him from trying to find his house key. 

After hoisting his bag into the flat, Balth called, “Hello? I’m home. Who’s here?”

Unfortunately for Balthazar, the person who appeared from the kitchen was none other than Freddie Kingston, who was bound to be furious with him. 

“Oh, hi,” said Balth as Freddie eyed him angrily

“What do you have to say for yourself, Stanley?”

Balth didn’t even bother correcting her before he spoke. “That I’m the absolute worst and an actual piece of shit. I know I deserve a very lengthy lecture about this, and I know you’re probably ready to let me have it right now, but first I _have_ to see Peter.”

Freddie continued to glare at him, but something inside her seemed to soften. “Well lucky for you, ‘cause I know where he is. He went to an open mic night at The Lounge downtown with Jacquie. And here,” she darted back into the kitchen and grabbed something, “take this sandwich. You look like you haven’t eaten all day. And take my car!”

He took the food, Freddie’s car keys, and thanked her as he rushed out the front door to the parking space outside. 

As Balth drove toward downtown Wellington he began to get increasingly nervous. What if Peter was so upset that he wouldn’t take him back? (Or take him at all, as the case may be.) What if he slammed the metaphorical door on Balth and their possible relationship? 

Quickly, he shook his head and tried to rid himself of all the negativity. He couldn’t think like that. He and Peter were meant to be together and he just needed to show Peter that he was serious about them. If he even considered the possibility of rejection for too long he’d lose his nerve. 

...

He arrived downtown and scored a parking spot on the road right outside The Lounge and gathered his thoughts. He had a great song. It was going to be okay. 

Balth got out of his car and walked around the building to sneak in the back door, not wanting Peter to see him before he sang. Then, he caught the eye of Jamie, the woman who organized the open mic nights.

“Hey, do you have time for one more?”

She nodded enthusiastically, always excited to hear Balth sing and wrote his name down on the list.

After an agonizing fifteen minutes of staring at Peter through the crowd, it was finally Balth’s turn. He walked up onto the stage and saw Peter’s eyes go wide. He looked like he might storm out, but Jacquie placed a hand on his shoulder and said something that made him stay. Balth made a mental note to thank her later. 

“Hi everyone,” he said into the mic, “this is a song for somebody who I really hurt. I hope you all enjoy it, but most of all, Peter, I hope you understand how sorry I am. Oh, and I hope you don’t mind that I used that old nickname you told me about in the song. Rhymes and stuff…” he trailed off. “Anyway, here’s ‘An Ode’. 

He sat down at the piano, lowering the mic as he sat, and began to play. As he sang, he could see Peter’s face softening and he silently prayed that meant forgiveness. 

After he sang the last line, Balth realized he was tearing up. He nodded, thanking the audience for their applause, but began speaking again before they’d even finished clapping. “I’m so in love with you Peter. You’re my best friend in the world and I don’t know what I would do without you. I love you as you, not as anybody else. Will you be my boyfriend for real?” He gazed out into the crowd .

To Balth’s horror, Peter opened his mouth as if to speak and then bolted out of The Lounge. 

“Well go after him!” Jacquie shouted over the chorus of sighs coming from the audience. After she spoke the crowd started cheering for him to “go get the guy!”. Balth shook off the rejection and ran down the stage steps and out the front door. 

“Peter! Wait!” he hollered as he ran down the small set of stairs in front of the building. He looked down the side walk in either direction but couldn’t see Peter, but when he turned around, he spotted him on the bench right outside The Lounge. 

“Oh, there you are. Good. Sorry about, um, all of that. And everything else. But I wanted to show you that I—Please forgive me?

Peter looked at him, breathless and blushing and clearly sleep deprived. “I had to get out of that sweaty room. Just, why now? Why not then? I don’t understand, Balthy.”

Balth practically melted at the use of his nickname. “Because I’m an idiot, Pete. I’ve got to be insane to let you go, even for a minute. I dug myself into a ridiculous hole and I would say I wish I hadn’t, but then we wouldn’t have kissed and you wouldn’t have told me you love—loved me. I don’t know what I’m doing—”

“Yes.”

“Yes? Huh?”

Peter shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Yes, I’ll be your boyfriend for real. Now would you get over here and kiss me please?”

Balth didn’t waste another second. His butt hit the bench with a loud thump and then their lips were on each other and his hands were in Peter’s hair. 

“I missed this,” Balth whispered between kisses.

“Me too. But you never have to again.”

Peter pulled back from the kiss and wrapped his arm around Balth’s shoulders.

“I love you, Balthy.”

“I love you too, _Peddy_ ,” replied Balth with a laugh. 

“Oh, not Peddy. I’d much rather you called me Pedro and I don’t let anyone call me Pedro.”

“Well, I’m not just anyone, am I?”

Peter smiled. “No, you’re everything.” 


End file.
